my wife doesn't touch me sexually anymore

I would suggest you try these because they will increase your natural produce of testosterone without the side effects you mention. There's nothing wrong with the lower-libido partnerthey simply just don't want sex as often as the other person. It's possible that you and your wife simply have different needs when it comes to sex. I ruled our marriage & family and still do. That communication will be open and honest, and circumstances in lifegood or bad, should never break this mutual promise. I have had a suspicious breast biopsy. Awful!!! If your sex life is devoid of experimenting with new sexual positions, role play, dressing up, creating a sensual ambiance, theres a chance that the same sexual routine has become boring and tiresome for your wife and she has started avoiding all physical contact. Divorce? I look good for my age and am so tempted to look for another relationship. I thank you for stating in so frank a manner every frustration that has engulfed me for over 40 years. I bet you think all men are stupid as well. I had a feeling he was going to leave me in no time and he later did this was After 3 years of marriage, my husband left me and never returned. Nothing is out of bounds! You need to find a woman who respects you and wants to be intimate with you on a consistent basis. He needs to get his hormone levels tested as he is mostly estrogen dominant and low test. I grew up ramming into me that Im there for husbands sole desire. Why would he ever have too? 7 years no sex!!! But certainly different than when we were younger. The experts have very little to offer. Super heart broken!!! Ask if there is something you can do to make sex more enjoyable for her. I hear ya. Menopause can affect a woman's sexual functioning2 and overall interest in sex. Got thru menopause with that help. My father and grandfather were active sexually(we discussed) into their late 70s. Good luck. Im mid 50s married man who has ED and low T. I have always had a lower desire. Like, whats wrong with me? My wife of 43 years has no need for sex except very infrequently and then only quick missionary. At 45 years old I met this man He then sits and reads for hours on end. Here are some possible openings finesse one or more of these to fit your comfort and style: I strongly suggest that you see a sex therapist (find one in your location) or a sex-savvy counselor for guidance. I have the same problem, my wife and I are 73 years old, 7years ago she told me she no longer had an interest in sex, so,it has been 7 dry years, she told me I was free to,find someone to have sexy with!! Its one thing to have trouble with arousal, or other sexual difficulties. When home I was to do whatever he wanted me to. Im 15 years younger than my husband. For senior sex news, tips, event and webinar announcements, and special offers,join Joans mailing list. Life is way too short! I had a few clients who had a baby and found it difficult to start getting physically intimate with their spouses again because theyre not comfortable with their bodies, says Gopa. John, where do you live, and do you play golf regularly without your wife ? Have sexual experiences together that don't revolve around intercourse. She has owned her own retail furniture store for 10 years and has expressed her desire to sell and get a job until retirement. He sits around the house and watches tv all day long. He has an expectation of honesty and communication, perhaps, but only if he is providing the same for you. As well as almost no feeling there as well. Agree Sean. all about love and couple relationships in their varied forms. Lets discuss some of the most frequently asked questions related to what to do if your wife never initiates intimacy. Really connect. If the lack of interest in physical intimacy came on suddenly and caught you unawares, it is possible that your wife is involved with another person. I am also in a sexless relationship, same as others in our 50s Im in good shape and shes overweight, out of shape and depressed. I have the same problem I love my wife but I need sex. The frequency began to dwindle a few years back and now has been more than a year since we have had sex. His experiences have taught him that being an honest friend who communicates well and giving importance to self-love can go a long way in maintaining loving relationships. Even if you have something as small as a minor headache or you cut yourself while cooking, a loving wife will always be ready to pounce and get the first aid kit. That is love. Richard C We all deserve to be held, to be touched, to be told and shown we are desired and needed for far more than cleaning a house, fixing a meal or providing a paycheck. Dianne. We started dating in high school and never separated. Im to the point where Id be happy with an occasional peck on the cheek. As Gopa points out, the reasons can stem from resentment to communication gaps or personal issues. The last time we tried, she complained of the pain even with lubrication. If you didnt leave before the first kid arrived, you were in for a life sentence. No way not ever. 3, stop calling her names and no more fights with give you more chances of having sex with her that night. accuse me of not loving her enough, if I had to cheat back. I am 52, married for 25yrs and sex has dwindled down to once every year or two. It was even suggested I try penile injections at bedtime so I can at least get hard for her pleasure. For me and many others, this is a serious problem and we are, well, desperate for solutions. My problem is my husband is still very much interested. It's possible that you and your wife simply have different needs when it comes to sex. It Might pass , 45 is menopausal years and I was once told by a friend older than me at the time that it can be like a light switch once you are through menopause and that can be true because what drives sexual desire , it has much to do with hormones and post menopause or during, a women losses a tremendous amount of hormones and hormone replacement ( they will many x use birth control for that) makes one sick or intolerant and I have read many articles in the past that hormone replacement can put one of high risk of cancer in older women, please I am far from a Dr. not even close, but this is what I have gathered along the way. She can just kiss my butt. However I worked as much at home since someone had to do it. It breaks my heart because we are so happy together in every other way, but I need the physical intimacy and to be desired and sex is something I enjoy and I feel like he is withholding it. I see my friend for an outing about 2X/month. In my is own skin. I feel I am supportive, helpful, etc but know Im not perfect. Take care of your body and mind! Would you like to see more questions and answers? But men also have 12-15 times more testosterone than women far higher sex drives and are capable of siring hundreds of times more children than women are capable of bearing. Thank you for indiviualizing yozr response. Stay with it, work on it with her. Bring back date night (without the pressure to have sex), or simply spend more time talking to each other about your inner worlds: your feelings, your fears, your frustrations, your hopes and dreams. . He is a selfish person he is only thinking of himself. Sounds like you should try therapy. Sometimes losing interest in sex with your spouse is a symptom of losing interest in the relationship overall. After 8.5 years in my sexless marriage, I almost found the phrase Youve both gone so long without sex together funny, though it is far from that. I couldnt relate to those feelings, but I was expected to understand them as a husband. Not getting the right treatment, not knowing how to deal with depression and then having the pressure to get into physical intimacy is not a good mix. If you are not. Im 65 and just want a happy, peaceful existence and I cope with EVERYTHING 100% , except sex. 8 reasons why your wife never initiates intimacy, 5 things to do if your wife never initiates intimacy, My wife never wants to have sex 8 ways to initiate intimacy, 15 Things A Woman Can Do to Spice Up the Bedroom, How to Have Better Sex in a Marriage: 20 Helpful Tips, 30+ Best Sex Tips for Women That Drive Men Crazy, 30 Hot Sex Games for Couples to Play Tonight, 10 Helpful Tips if Youre Tired of Initiating Intimacy, 5 Benefits of Maintenance Sex for Relationships and Marriage, How Physical Relationship Before Marriage Affects Your Relationship, How Relationship Coaching for Men Can Transform Your Love, 30 Traditional and Modern Anniversary Gifts Year by Year, Relationship Bullying: Meaning, Signs and What to Do, 100 Romantic and Funny Questions to Ask Your Husband, Top 100 Wedding Registry Ideas That Can Make You Happy, 100+ Inspirational Womens Day Messages for Your Wife, 50 Fun Things For Couples To Do At Home When Bored, 100 Best International Womens Day Quotes for Your Lady, The Importance Of Maintaining Healthy Family Relationships, Sexless Marriage: Reasons, Effects & Tips To Deal With It, What To Do When You Feel No Emotional Connection With Your Husband, 25 Common Marriage Problems Faced by Couples & Their Solutions, 50+ Best Funny Marriage Advice: Finding Humor in Commitment, 35 Relationship Goals for Couples & Tips to Achieve Them, Feeling No Emotional Connection With Your Husband, How to Get Back Together After Separation, 6 Ways to Tell if Someone is Lying About Cheating, 5 Signs That You Are Living in a Toxic Marriage, 7 Important Tips to Build Trust in a Relationship, 10 Effective Communication Skills for Healthy Marriages, 20 Signs of a Married Man in Love With Another Woman. He has no desire. I say, screw your desire lol. !life is def funny!! Couples counseling can help the two of you get back on track in your marriage and the bedroom. Color me confused. How about finding self-worth in volunteering at a homeless shelter or soup kitchen? I heard my uncles talk about sex like it was something from their youth that has long gone. * THE SECTION BELOW TO INSERT DYNAMIC VALUES FROM YOUR If you think Im going to live the rest of my life without sex your absolutely out of your mind. My NEW husband gets a hard on, loves me to give him oral sex but is not sexually attracted to me at all. She wont do therapy and I dont want sex because someone forces her to. I love her to death but cant stand to be around her anymore. Now it is back to looking at every other couple as maybe having something unattainable for me and my Wife. There is only so much I can fantasize masturbate and flirt. Where is their allegiance to you? Research shows that sexual communication was. You can stay in the loop about her latest programs, gatherings, and other projects through her newsletter: kellygonsalves.com/newsletter. I hope this is helpful to someone. She is unhappy with your lack of hygiene, 12. I cant stop thinking about it. I have kept fit and kept busy. Would you be willing to see a therapist with me to learn how to talk about this? Its worth discussing with your doctor. 10 years of this and going on5 years since last try, dont sleep in same be, snoring medical issues up down. Good points you made for sure. I was her first love. Follow us at: This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience on our website. However, whenever one spousewithdraws from the other, there is always a risk of your marriage being almost over. Many men and most women are connected through sexual intimacy. I am sorry but I think thats just nuts. No way you are real!!! Good luck. It is more than frustrating it is emotionally and physically painful. Love will always outweigh the brief pleasure that $$ and status can provide. In all likelihood, you went the extra mile to dress up for her, look good, smell good and stay groomed in anticipation of getting some action. Although she initially helped with my toddlers, she eventually lost interest and helped only occasionally. 2. I know we are very different people and and I am not trying to change her as much as letting her know the effects of being so distant and often dismissing my feelings yet I have to be totally responsive to her to keep her happy. You're correct about that. I can literally be ready with just a thought. (That is very thoughtful, I do all those things because my wife is Special and I want her to be happy) I have always shared the housework and dont mean picking up my clothes yes I am defensive because women dont believe med do housework. Take care. Save yourself it is merely self preservation. But unfortunately I do feel that it is my fault I just wish I knew what and that I could make it better. Now I definitely feel more like the odd woman out after reading all those men complaining about lack of sex!I am 45 had a hysterectomy 3 years ago, so menopause was forced on me.I still feel like a horny B*** latina! She may well become that cat lady a previous poster described. I just go to AA now instead (I drank too much for 10 years because of no sex) & have great old fashioned men friends and conversations of good life practices. And really dont know what to do. Its a disturbing trap that you must avoid. She chose to be sexless, so now she has another choice to make. Yes, its so hurtful and completely discouraging. No intimacy!!! I am new to this. Your Wife Seems Uncomfortable When You Initiate Foreplay. I lve my wife more now then when we got married. I have a TON of frustration that has built up for years. She is intelligent and knows exactly what is going on. Oh, and me driving the car, she has panic attacks and asks I dont drive. We have tried everything ( I mean everything ) but nothing seems to work and Im getting desperate! I ask why she said it is just how it is. I can live with that, but I can not live with never being touched or made love to ever again. Make time when you are both relaxed. Many marriages are suffering in this area, and even the strongest and most supportive husbands feel isolated from their wives. Fully. Sigh . I realized that her life and passion are our girls (which she refers to as her girls). I just want to rebuild my life again, move on, be kissed and touched! I say bullshit to every man and women experiencing no sex in a relationship if they want it with their partner. If your wife never initiates physical contact, it could be that horror of horrors you may be bad in bed. But this past 6 months I see things slipping and I feel we are not getting that closeness and are becoming more distant even though we do many things together. I take it religiously, because it helps me in the gym and with mental clarity. Im 65 and he is 74. That being said, my wife and I married young. Do we cheat and risk hurting our wives and husbands? Pls look this up to see if this is you. I just had to click on this to see how times have changed. Should a wife forsake any of these advantages for the principle of equality? Talk to your wife about the lack of intimacy and work through your issues together, as a team. That partner depriving you of that intimacy does not give a damn what you do just as long as you do not bother them about it or it interferes with their favorite TV show! My opinion only, so, most likely only worthy in my estimation. for signs she is interested in someone else. I find that unfathomable. Virtually every woman Ive been with, and there werent that many, experienced a lot of discomfort with me penetrating them no matter how gentle and slow I took it, with or without lube, and regardless of how excited they were). Research published by the National Marriage Project found that couples who make time for date night experience benefits, such as increased sexual satisfaction, improved communication skills, and injecting excitement and passion back into their relationship. She has to try, and she should want to try for your sake if not hers. You were something new, mysterious, independently confident, self-respecting, self-motivated and unpredictable. I was disgusted with the thought of my tongue in that region. To you guys in a sexless marriage for years, and she wont even talk to you about it? Addie,maybe we should trade spouses.lol.im in the same boat you are.i love to get intamate and hug and kiss and cuddle.my wife 0.unreal.she told me the other day she dont even like sex anymore after we had it.how nice to say that.unreal. I dont know why Im still here. I want to have a joyful life not just be comfortably numb. (she has seen a councelor) and she this has gone on for years and may take years to heal and maybe I will never heal. My wife avoids spending time with me. If this is a real concern for you then ask yourself was there ever any infidelity or cheating on your part? If theyve been fighting the whole day, physical intimacy is the last thing on their mind. I dont even bother to talk to her (all she does is whine and complain). Menopause can affect a woman's sexual functioning, supportive of a partner struggling with mental health, it's OK to not want sex with your partner, https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25855662/, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5994393/. She says she loves me but cant stand to touch me. 1. To some it may even taste nasty. That was almost 50 years ago, I dont live in he house with her. And you are wasting your life . I was active outside a few times with permission, after 7 years of zero sex, and was not having problems engaging in it, but that had to stop when I tried to help a person I was seeing was caught. Being refused is an essential part of the life of a person who is proactive in getting his or her wants met. From so many different angles I cannot begin to list. You cant really blame her, can you? She had a hysterectomy years ago do to cancer concerns, about 5 years ago she had a stroke like episode but there where no signs of actual stroke damage and she had started botox/steroid therapy in her spinal column for pain issues so there is suspicion that caused it, but because of a possible stroke they wont give estrogen. I set up a Revenge cheat. Never once I have ever forced myself in any way on my wife. I am 66 and my wife is 62. One reason your wife never initiates affection may be stress related. 39 TRUST ME RUN Dont walk Dont ruin your life!!!! My biggest problem is that my wife is very, very against porn and at my age I cannot attempt to relieve my tension without it as a point of focus. What to do about it: Remember that it's OK to not want sex with your partner sometimes. I realized after marriage that I married her for the wrong reason, more of a rebound to fill something torn from me so abruptly, the love for my previous family(wife and children). Ask if there is something you can do to make sex more enjoyable for her. You can gently bring up that you want to keep prioritizing your sex life together so your wife understands how you feel and so you can mutually find ways to work on this part of your lives while still being sensitive to her struggles. I have the same problem and there isnt a answer. The dog loves her. At 73, my 69 year old wife fits the descriptions you have provided to a T. Just replace you, the wife, with me, the husband. Ill be living in a van down by the river if we separate. Some are related to the pressures and demands of family life. I absolutely adore my wife/partner I love her dearly and would do anything for her. The only thing I have now is masturbation about 3 times a week. I have tried internet sex and it wasnt bad but it wasnt enough. Could it be that your wife avoids intimacy and shuns the idea of making love? If your wife wont touch you, maybe something has changed. Im leaving when I can stash away the cash. But it nearly tore us apart. They (we) act most often as though we men are not capable of rational/sentient thought. She didnt. If its just drynesswhich is common as women ageas well as using lubricant youll also want to be sure that your wife is aroused, even before any genital touching. Most dont ever have this figured out. I miss the simple things. When someone Denys you something so fundamentally important, it is Not Cheating to Want to continue the conversation? Im too tired. So Mike, I dont know what to say. Its been over three months since weve had sex. Perhaps every month or so she gives me a handjob, rarely a BJ. Men provide protection, stability, and resources. I sincerely hope is wife is open to exploring options. You have slipped into being neutral around her, rather than being masculine and making her feel girly in your presence Inside, you may feel very masculine or confident, but she's not going to feel any desire to be affectionate if you don't use your masculinity to make her feel feminine (rather than neutral) in comparison to you. I am now trying to get into health club manament and the barriers for that seem less difficult. Gopa explains how such mental health issues can affect your physical intimacy. I am NEVER ENOUGH so why even bother? There is one category which never seems to be covered in these kind of forums, that is where one partner is both medically unadvisable to have sex. You have put up with so much bull shit it is sickening. I have tried everything too, to no avail, things only get worse, not better. Hmmm. 1. Sometimes when a woman becomes a mother, it can affect the way she sees herselfand the way her partner sees her. Youre describing my dilemma to a tee. Thats crazy my husband is the one who is lacking in wanting orgasms, I still need them daily so I continue with out him, I am tired of all the good years I wasted on him waiting lol our kids are grown and gone I still love sex! A little flirting, some sex, and shed start pushing for a ring. This can be difficult since, statistically, couples are not as willing to talk about sexual matters the same way they would other conflicts, such as children or finances. I too have never cheated. She knows this but never initiates. One of the scariest reasons your wife wont have sex with you may be that she has feelings or is being intimate with someone else. We do love each other though. messages where she was being flirtatious to a local musician . that you would love to have *that* him back in your life. We stopped having sex ten years ago, she wont talk about it. Weekly turned into Monthly then every 3 or 4 months question about sex. 90% of my enjoyment of sex is seeing her turned on an having a rip roaring time. Sure she was sore & tired particularly in the beginning, but she didnt make it a habit to say no because she knew my hand was nothing like her body that I craved. She is a poor communicator and no matter how much I ask she gives me the silent treatment and thinks its OK. * . Come to find out my wife was getting hers on the side. But many times women holds back based on how they are treated. Not only may this put her off being intimate, but you may be setting yourself and your wife up for a stressful encounter. But he keeps wanting to try and work on it and cant seem to accept that Im changing as I grow old. My only suggestion would be to get out of this marriage and fast. There are many exceptions, but if you dont want me let me go elsewhere. Weve been in counseling for a year. I think he wanted to stay in his marriagemainly I think b/c his wife earns well (makes more money than him). I havent found a way to replace that feeling of a man. He does not have ED or any similar issue, wont see a therapist or talk about this, and he becomes angry and defensive if I bring up sex or hug him or show any affection. I tried to think that it was OK, I still had company and friendship. I dont have a problem with a sexless marriage, in fact I created it in our marriage. Id never treat him as she does! Men empathize with women in a way that women do not with men; men *want* to make decisions that benefit women, individually and as a group (the Women are Wonderful effect, which both men and women exhibit). Thrown into menopause way too young. There is just so much fantasizing, flirting and masturbating that I can do. Shes happen because we dont have sex or have any form of intimacy. This whole situation sucks for all of us. . In my experience as a marriage counselor, Ive seen that men can have an argument with their wives the whole day and romance their partner in the end. Sometimes I wish he would go. She received her journalism degree from Northwestern University, and her writings on sex, relationships, identity, and wellness have appeared at The Cut, Vice, Teen Vogue, Cosmopolitan, and elsewhere. I love him and still desire him (even though he lost his hair and gained a gut!!) She started losing interest when our children were youngshed be OK with sex once or twice a month, and only when she was in the mood. Im guessing because you are complaining that your 59 year old husband is fat, lazy, snores and is demanding is the reason you dont have sex anymore? She likely doesn't want you to touch her bc whenever you do it leads to an implied intimacy interaction she doesn't want. I have the same situation you describe, almost to a T. The only thing thats worse is that my husband is sneakily still interested in porn and satisfying himself when Im not around. Sigh I dont even want to see anyone else. Many health issues can affect a woman's sexual desire, from diabetes to chronic pain conditions to cancer. You are not catering to her sexual needs, How To Survive A Sexless Marriage Without Cheating, build a successful relationship after cheating, communication exercises with your partner, 10 Things To Do When You Are Drifting Apart In Your Relationship. About 10 % Love 90% Hate. More than once, our perfunctory mutual masturbation sessions were unsuccessful for me because I couldnt get hard. Before I married my second wife, Vicky told me she made a terrible mistake, still loves me and wanted back. A husband must shoehorn that sex drive into the confines of marriage, where only his wife can accommodate it. Now its too late. She snores loudly and we have different bedrooms. After reading this feed, thanks for sharing stories but I know where dirty old man comes from, darn wives holding out! Even worse, because Im larger than average, she can no longer handle my penis even if she wanted to. Should they chew the food and pretend it tastes wonderful? I have to listen to her telling me I am fat etc. Will, I dont see ruling the relationship and demanding that a wife relieve her husband, even if shes sore or unwilling, as a solution to anything except an unhappy wife. Anyway, I simply want you to know that as many women as men are trapped in this sadness. If men want more sex the this is what you should do. Nothing, I mean nothing, kills a relationship, a marriage, a union, more thoroughly than complacency and boredom. The fact that she cant be bothered to take a few minutes in the shower to manually make things right tells you everything you need to know. And sadly that is not my situation. Then she was diagnosed with scleroderma shortly before I had a kidney transplant. Its a two-way street as are most things in marriage. Im 47 and this happened to me. 19. They can go months and years without sex and then the menopause hits and then theyre completely done. We both have health issues well, about a year ago she took it upon herself to say no more sex. I am planning a divorce, as I wont live out the remaining 20-30 years of my life without love and affection. 25 Romantic Things To Say To Your Husband, 12 Things To Do When Husband Is Not Affectionate Or Romantic, 7 Ways To Get The Romance Back After Having A Baby, 10 Best-Selling Relationship Books Couples Can Read Together, How To Make Up For Forgetting Your Anniversary 8 Ways To Do It. Be truthful. Do you feel my wife never initiates intimacy? , checking in with yourself is also good. We dont really argue and enjoy each others company. Especially if you once had a, One reason your wife never initiates affection may be stress related.

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